Before & After & Inbetween

and now for a special commercial of the "I want DSL by TO on my phoneline"-daily soap.

October 20

I get my phonebill today - and what do I find? TO billed me for having DSL1000 during the last month. Cute!
I called TOSH (yet again) because
a) I did not order DSL1000 but DSL2000
b) I do not have access to any form of DSL on my phoneline as of yet
c) I won't pay for something I didn't receive
d) TOS #3 insisted last time, the issue would be cleared up soon. Soon was on September 29.
TOSH #9 insisted that DSL1000 has been cancelled, apologized for the wrong amount on my bill, and proceeded to put the money back onto my account. *ok*
TOSH #9 then insisted that they would not have an order for DSL2000! Please!? They only sent me the hardware, the software, the hardcopy manual, 1001 ads for online services requiring fastest access...
TOSH #9 actually lived long enough to rectify his insistment towards they have an order to put DSL2000 on my phoneline. He then proceeded to assure me that the issue would be taken care of asap.
I might have been inclined to believe him...
...back on July 27!

September 29
I get an email from TO telling me that they would regret my cancellation of their order. I did not cancel anything!
I call TOSH. TOSH tells me that the order was cancelled because there would be DSL from somebody else on my line. I tell TOSH that that is the fragment from the cancelled order from July 27th. She sorts through puts me through to her superior. TOS. TOS #3 frisks through all her data, let's me tell her -yet again- that I did call TC already, that I told TC that the DSL1000 on my line is not to be there, and that TC does not believe me when I - as the client - tell them that it is to be cancelled and insist that their partner is TO not me, therefore I'd have to talk with TO. TO says there is no DSL from them on my line. I tell TOS #3 in detail, she is pretty embarassed and proceeds to clear the line internally which may - her words - take a few days and that they would get to me about it.
Do you believe that? I don't!

Vocally speechless!

September 27
You might recall from yesterday, that I got a formal call telling me that DSL would be put on my phoneline sometime today. Sometime in Germany usually means "within business hours". Business hours (for the optimistic ones) run from 8:00 (9 or 10 equally possible for the realistic ones) to 18:00. It's 40 minutes past that - and while my DSL splitter and the router are configured and working fine - there is no DSL on my phoneline.

Now my patience is at zero for about the last 6 weeks,
still I will torture it till tomorrow with waiting,
afterwards...
GRRRRRRRRR

Huh?

September 25
Got an email by TO - no, it did not say (as I expected), that they can't put DSL on my phoneline because I'd already have DSL (for more information about that see here) - but instead informed me that they would be delighted about my decision in favor of their new DSL service *SNORT* and that the flatrate would automatically activated the first time I go online via DSL...

I abstain from commenting that at this state of events.

Strangest things happen in our "I want to get T-Online DSL on my phoneline"-daily soap!
Be prepared for a shocking detail!

September 21
I received a letter from T-Online, dating from September 20, referring to my call from September 19... ah ha, TOS'2... confirming in writing
a) my order of T-DSL 2000, a router, and a flatrate
b) the date when it will be put on
c) that the parcel with the hardware is on its way.
It stops with the imbecile line of "freuen Sie sich auf Internet-Faszination mit..." (look forward to enjoy the fascination of the internet with...). AHEM!???
I seriously wonder whether they have the audacity of listing the DSL 1000 that was wrongly put on my phoneline in my next bill.
I even more wonder whether or not the hardware will actually be there when they put the DSL 2000 active.
And most of all:
will there be an email tomorrow telling me that they can't put T-DSL on my phoneline because I'd already have T-DSL? *evil grin*
Ah well, it gets interesting...

and yet another installment of our popular "I want DSL from T-Online on my phoneline"-daily soap.

You may recall that on August 29 I received a call from a T-online superior assuring me that all was sorted out before she proceeded to ask me "if I received the equipment by now".

September 5
No, I did not receive a parcel containing the ordered hardware and the scheduled date when DSL is going to be put on my phoneline. What I got was an email asking me to fill out their survey about satisfaction with their services. (raised brows: "service? what service!?") Mind you, that my first order was placed on July 27! Mind you, that I spent about four weeks(!) and more than 10 Euros(!!) on their *expletive* hotline(s)(!!!) and the stuff still isn't here!
They plainly don't have a form field matching my "level of customer satisfaction with their services". On a scale from 1 to 10 they score somewhere around minus 10^28 and counting.

I'm going to fill that in once they actually produced something called service, and their survey request will be one of the addressed issues. GROWL

Truth be told, I was convinced to enter the blogging sphere by my ISP.
More precisely: by attempting to "upgrade" my internet access from a creepy-crawley 56.6 kbits to DSL. The process is so far running since July 27 and I'm currently seriously contemplating on covering the whole republic with posters telling exactly what followed.

(read on - if you dare)

July 27:
I ordered a DSL bundle including a T-Com DSL1000 port, a flatrate, and a DSL modem from my ISP (T-Online) (TO) by phone. After quite some time they finally offered a bundle that offered a more features for less money. Fine. Only that "less money" doesn't calculate the costs for the psychiatrists...

August 5:
I get an email from TO telling me that the ordered DSL bundle is no longer available and that I ought to choose from their new offers. I looked them up on their website and actually found one that fit my needs even better: T-Com DSL2000, flatrate, router & modem for only (4.95 EUR) more than the other one. I ordered that one.

August 6:
I get a written confirmation of the order from July 27. Because the new bundle is better and already ordered, I cancel the July 27 order in writing and via the phone.

August 9:
I get an email telling me that I can't get DSL on my phone line because I'd already have DSL.
I call the T-Online service hotline (TOSH from now on) to sort it all out. I spend about 15 minutes telling TOSH person #1 what happened and demand an explanation.
It turns out: my phone line is listed as having DSL from the T-Com.
TOSH #1 insists that she can't do anything about that because it would be a T-Com issue and that I would have to contact the T-Com about the DSL on my phone line. But she retakes my order of their DSL bundle (T-Com DSL2000, flatrate, router + modem) because the order from August 5 had been cancelled automatically after my phone line was discovered to already have DSL. But for that to work I would have to call T-Com customer service (TCCS) to make sure the DSL on my phone line is cut off ASAP. She even gives me the TCCS number.
TCCS person #1 tells me that they have an order from TO to put DSL onto my phone line as of August 11. The order for that dates from July 27! I tell TCCS #1 that that order is cancelled and that they should erase the DSL from my phone line. TCCS #1 says it's entered and done.

August 17:
I receive a parcel containing a DSL *modem*. The freight papers date from July 27. (After the first fuming reduced to a mild bubble) I call TOSH telling them I got hardware from an order placed on July 27 that had been cancelled on August 6.
TOSH #2 tells me (after listening attentively during the now about 20 minutes necessary to inform him about all the proceedings) that the hardware shouldn't have been sent (what it was and what I already knew!) and that I may send it back without postage. Ok. Because all this is rather twisted now, I ask her to confirm the order that has been placed by TOSH #1 on August 9.
Turns out: My phone line is still listed to have DSL until August 18 (which is why the order has been cancelled without even telling me this time!). Of course, my phone line has not really DSL at this time but it is listed as "going to get DSL" because of the cancelled order from July 27. The listing as "going to get DSL" is scheduled to be removed on August 18. TCCS #1 apparently didn't cancel the DSL order from the cancelled July 27 order but entered an order to cancel the DSL port to be set on... *aaaah*
TOSH #2 tells me to wait till the port is set to be free tomorrow and then call TCCS to check that it is really free and then place the order again. Ok.

August 19: (added a day because with those T%§O(!! you never know)
I call TCCS. TCCS #2 tells me there is an order to cancel the DSL on my phone line but that cancellation hasn't been confirmed by TO which is the company I have to deal with but he would confirm the cancellation of the DSL on my phone line now, even though that would be highly unusual.
I call TOSH and tell them what TCCS #2 had said and that they ought to confirm the darn cancellation. It can't be that difficult to get a DSL bundle, can it? By now it takes about 30 minutes to tell TOSH #3 the whole proceedings and demand that they -finally- clear the sh*t up! (Okay, she was nice, I said it politely.). TOSH #3 checked all the proceedings in her computer against what I told her on the phone, then contacted her direct superior, and confirmed that the DSL on my phone line had been cancelled by TCCS on 11:21 today. Ok.
She suggests to replace the order on Monday. growl

August 23:
I order the DSL bundle including T-Com DSL2000, flatrate, router + modem from TO.

August 24:
I get an email telling me that the order from August 23 can't be executed because my phone line would already have DSL.
I call TOSH, spend about 30 minutes to tell TOSH #4 the whole stuff, he says he will look it up, the phone beeps, and I find myself connected with a nice, surprised lady who - after my first astonished, not too smiling outburst - tells me that she'd be the ordering hotline and that I would have to call the service hotline (TOSH) because the problem is with an existing phone line and therefore I need to call the service hotline. I tell her I called the TOSH and had been connected without being even told and that she should redirect me back.
I call TOSH again because ordering hotline is not equipped to do redirections (AS IF!) and find myself connected with TOSH #3 ("Hello, Mrs. Baggins(*), do you remember me?" mean grin). I first nail one of the most evil customer complaints I ever voiced onto TOSH #4 (Mr. Beutlin(*), you are SO dead!) then ask TOSH #3 if she recalls the proceedings from Friday. Turns out, she does and she is mighty embarassed. Ok. That's why she actually got to live through the call.
We ended up with her printing and filing the whole proceedings, adding the information I gave her on the phone to it, and assuring that she would take it to the head of the house ASAP, and make sure it is taken care of. Including my order. She promised personally, that they would come back to me. Ah ha. And my pig requests landing clearance in Cape Canaveral!

August 25:
they didn't come back until now. Now, I'm a nice person who will wait till Monday (when hopefully my throat and nose are no longer killing me) and if they haven't sorted out their "§/&!=( by then, then I am going to play n - i - c - e (as in Seishirou or Goose).

If there were any alternative, I'd go to a rival ISP, but the problem is the link between the ISPs and the T-Com. And that would be the same what ISP ever. AAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

(*) names changed for legal conveniences.