Before & After & Inbetween

Formatting Crystal Structures.

Chapter 2 is done (safe for a final reread on paper).
It is still the longest chapter of the story, clocking in at 17.396 words on 32 A4 pages (11 pt. Calibri) [ chapter 1: 12.441 on 24 pages].

Chapter 3 will start next week. 3 is a short chapter, but it's currently in the wrong file format and I have yet to reread it to ensure continuity with the subtle changes made to chapter 1.

Stay tuned!

Small excerpt from the very end of 2:

“So, you want military base clearance for convicted criminals?”
“I want two chipped minor offenders working off their debts to the general public here in a highly-secured laboratory,” QBall confirmed.
“A laboratory containing starstones,” Walsh challenged.
“Sealed and covered starstones in a protected reading device.”
“A device which they have to use.”
“Together with a highly trained former Galaxy Ranger.”
“Who failed to contain them before.”
“Commander!” QBall threw up his hands, exasperated. “You’re difficult on purpose!”
Walsh smirked. “I’m doing my best, Q.”

Yay, finally some progress. Lots of small issues in scribbles were added to the text and I'm fleshing out the reception. A change of location was needed to account for some of the new "personae dramatis". I wish I had more time to work on it now, but the alarm clock will be relentless tomorrow morning.
Anyways, here's a small excerpt of today's progress (or lack thereof):

The main docking bay had been cordoned off and decorated with flags, a raised dais, and rows of white-decked tables. Navy personnel, decked out in dress blues, formed an honor guard behind and to the left and right of the area holding the tables. A broad swath along the walls had been handed over to the press. Tri-D drones whirred overhead, kept at bay by the safety netting strangely in place across the dock despite neither this nor the two adjacent bays were in use.
Safety in more than one aspect, Gooseman thought when more than a dozen of the drones tried to zoom in on their table – and him specifically. At least, the fucking tri-D buzzers won’t splash into my coffee. This felt less like a military ceremony and more like Mrs. Hays’ madhouse(*). He suppressed a shudder."

(*) see Beyond the Frontier

Crystal Structures 5...
...is done. Work on the final chapter 6...
...is about to begin.

Other than planned, the material left at the end of 5 will result in 6 being a full chapter rather than an epilogue. At least, that works well with the nice frontispiece I have for it. ;-)
And here's the last sentence of chapter 5:

"So that's what you're protecting, Joe," he said quietly. [Adml. Subadar].

I finally got to the actual battle scenes (and realized there is WAY TOO MUCH text for it to have the effect I want), hence: CUT CUT CUTTEDICUT. Am now basically going from "storming the asteroid" to "Doc's programs to the rescue" in less than one page!

The usual issues with editing an old text:
(a) was my English really THAT bad back then? and
(b) *whine* I loved those cut scenes somewhat fierce!

CS5 saw some rather drastic edits over the last two days, namely the Eliza thread got severely cut back, resulting CS5 currently being 13 pages (down from 17) of continuous text. However, it puts the Eliza thread at the same level as the military thread, allowing for a better balance in story telling.
As a plus: since now I have to go over the whole chapter with a very fine "continuity comb" anyway, I can make better use of Eliza's unique perspective as a true outsider to the Rangers and their abilities. After all, she was frozen before their unit was even established!

"As if they'd freeze a Galaxy Ranger!"
"They've got no such qualms when it comes to a supertrooper, Lady."
A supertrooper? Eliza froze. She remembered the broadcasts about the disastrous military project before they left for Kirwin. But those-- "Let me guess," she asked sardonically, "you were the baby-face?"

Sadly, Mission Report 42 is not the answer to the life, the universe and all the rest of GR. Things have been unsatisfactorily busy on my life, hence progress was stalled. However, finally things are speeding up again, as the snippet below proves:

"Grim news."
"The Crown?" Walsh straightened.
Subadar snorted. "Worse. The Board."
Walsh signalled for Sheela to leave the room and seal the office. "BELVA, keep this private."
=Yes, sir.= The AI rotated briefly. =Privacy mode engaged. Scanning for eavesdroppers.=
"We're going to raid the Psychocrypt," Subadar said after the AI disappeared from the now green-framed screen. "In three days from now."

Editing CS5 continues sloooowly. I finally got past the memory lane scene (cutting another bunch of descriptive half-sentences helped) and now started on working through the breakfast morning. Problem with that one: I have no clue about recipes & how those things are called in En, hence... RESEARCH. Sheesh, CS5 begins to feel like the Dekagram in that regard. :p

Unrelated side note: I finally got a hold of a smartwatch that doesn't look like a leftover of a steampunked Dick Tracy gadget (and also doesn't pack a gazillion functions I don't even use on my phone, much less so on something tied to my wrist (like voice commands, for example)).
As it is, it transfers the notifications I receive on my phone (a LOT, since I use timer, remind me, and Tasks checklist apps to organize my day & tell me in time what has to be done in time) as vibration against my wrist.

Advantage: my commandeering phone no longer disturbs my coworkers.
Disadvantage: now I hear "ALMA's voice" only at home, da sigh.

There are a few other things built in - like a step counter (slightly less nervous than the one on the phone) and puls and sleep counters (don't need & don't plan to use them; what does it help to know how I sleep when I can't change the conditions? Nada.)

Additional plus: no built-in mike. If some spy wants to listen in, s/h(e)/it listens to the rustling in the office wardrobe (I typically hang up the phone along with the coat... *eg*)

Anyway, nice weekend. :)

Editing CS5: brain disobedient.
Planned to close the Eliza scene, wrote Niko & Goose in the office instead. Gah! At least, the new scene works as it is.

Excerpt:
She went to her desk and took stock of the heap of files and hard copy forms that had materialized there since her last visit. She frowned at the topmost. Purdue?
"Morning." Goose strolled in, coffee in hand. He arched a brow at her desk. "Backlogged?" he asked, pulling his chair out. He leaped back when Niko dropped the stack of files telekinetically onto his desk.
"Nice try, but I haven't been to Purdue in over a year. So back to sender. Write your own reports!"
He snorted, fishing a data stick out of the pile, reading the label. "Tarkon risk assessments is yours." He tossed it at her.
She stopped the data stick effortlessly, hovering it in the middle of the room between their desks, rotating it slowly. "What makes you think so?"
"Mine already came back. No idea what's not to get in 'what risk?'."

...now back to checking passwords and rearranging email accounts!

Editing CS5: Eliza's waking up...

The events were bizarre, featuring Zach, an altered, hardened Zach with robotic weapon limps, and a group of… She had no name for what they were. A blond hulk of a shapeshifter complete with the proverbial attitude, a green-eyed red-haired mindreader — talked about witch stereotypes much, did you? —, and a techno-mage with flying programs?! It didn't make sense. Not even if the aliens' caught too many 20th century entertainment broadcasts during their observation of Earth.

(Yes, I'm having way too much fun messing with her mind in this!)

initial decluttering puts CS5 at 26 pages (from 45) in total, though that's going to change since so far I tossed only the stuff that has to go as a whole.

The remaining scenes also need tightening and restructuring - though there are a very few which might stay almost exactly as they are (Zach's recalling of his personal background is one example; the actual battle in the Psychocrypt is another), because grammatical issues aside, I'd write those the same now as I did 12 years ago - and of course there's new material to be added: the BWL sessions, the command perspective...

Overall, CS5 is going to be one fat chapter, while 6 will be hardly more than an epilogue. I tried to think of a different spot to divide the chapters, but it really doesn't work to have the campaign and the battle in different parts; although I might move some of Zach's memory lane to 6. Despite being important for the characterization, it's still something of a floating scene. :)