akk | Eight things that put me off a fanfic...

This list is incomplete and partially bordering on a rant, though it wasn't intended as one when I started it.

Eight things that put me off a fanfic:

out of character (OOC). If I have to explain that, you probably shouldn't write.

Mary (& Marty) Sue (MS). That also covers all their relatives, including the dachshund!

bad language (BL). The language has to match character and the situation. A conservative man with good manners who smokes is unlikely to refer to his cigarettes as "cancersticks" or his penis as "cock". A high school kid with mediocre results might not use "lachrymose" and "fructiferous" in daily conversation, either.

off location (OL). There are extremely few things that would make me buy Legolas shopping at Walmart, for example!

author inserts (AI). If you like to chat with your readers, do it after the text. If your story has to be explained before or while people read it, chance is that you got it wrong.

bad spelling & grammar (BSG). It's okay if English isn't your first language (it certainly isn't mine), but nicely asking for a beta - esp. when your English tests return frequently with a "D-" - is a sign of respect for your audience. And chatsprak "LOL evar!" is just not cool in anything resembling a story.

unintended anachronisms (UA). For example: if somebody talks about "getting a virus" in a fic playing in the 19th Century [The term "virus" was coined by Martinus Beijerinck in 1898 to describe his findings about pathogens decidedly smaller than the known bacteria.]. Of course, this could also be classified as bad language, but the effect is the same: the mood, the setting, the feeling for (and of) the fic is totally gone. Intended anachronisms - "Samurai Champloo", for example, has a lot of those - are another matter altogether. If done right, they can be extremely funny.

stretched or squeezed plot (SOS). A story defines its length by its content. Said content can fit on one page or fill ten volumes. The exact length may depend on style and preferences of the author, but if plot that barely fills a drabble is turned into an 100.000 word epic without adding to it, it's boring (even if the original idea is great) -- and no, a gazillion sex scenes does not qualify as "added substance" (even if it splatters; if it's an elongated PWP, don't promise plot that's not there in the first place); and the same goes if the substance for an epic is chopped down to fit into 800 words, leaving everybody with "huh, why...?" and then some. Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet on a matchbox misses important details and published (unillustrated) in 25 1.200 pages volumes it will be the most boring read ever.